Come Away With Me
by Wamzwrites
Summary: MerDer. They have finally gotten back together. Will everything be okay or will something tragic come in their way of having their happily ever after? Sequel to The World Spins Madly On.
1. Chapter 1: Absence of Fear

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks!

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 1: Absence of Fear**_

I closed the door quietly, and walked back into the house, hoping that George and Izzie were still asleep because less than 24 hours ago I had slept with Derek... three times. I wasn't ashamed of what I had done and I wasn't afraid to tell them; I just needed to get in bed because sleeping wasn't something Derek and I did when we were together.

Right when I was about to close the door to my room, Izzie opened her door. "Where have you been?"

I turned around and looked at her. "Out."

"We were worried."

"I'm fine." I nodded reassuringly.

"Were you with him?"

"Can't we talk about this in the morning?"

"It is the morning."

"Well, later in the morning."

"You were with him!" Izzie shouted so loudly that George popped his head out his room.

"What's going on?"

"Meredith slept with McDreamy."

George opened his door wider. "Really?"

I stared at them for a moment, and then gave in. "Yes. Okay, I did. But can I just go to sleep because I'm really tired."

"From feeding the beast?" Izzie laughed, and George groaned and told us he was getting back in bed.

"Yes... from all the sex. Now, can I go to sleep?"

Izzie laughed and turned around to walk back into her room, leaving me standing in my doorway. I waited a few seconds and then walked into my room, collapsing on my bed. But I couldn't sleep. I was too happy. Is that possible... for a person to be too happy? Addison was gone, and he was mine. Everything could go back to the way it was, and I was okay with that.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The next morning I heard someone walk into my room. I thought it was just Izzie coming in to wake me up for all the details, but after a few seconds of silence I realized that it wasn't her. I rolled over and opened my eyes.

"You look so innocent when you sleep." His voice sounded tired.

"How'd you get in?" I asked sleepily.

"Izzie let me in," he said as he moved to come lay down next to me in bed, "so we 'fed the beast'?"

I groaned, "Don't get her started."

"How'd you sleep?" He asked as he lazily started to play with my hair.

"Alone."

"You're the one that left."

"I had to go home, or who knows what George and Izzie would have done."

He brought his lips closer to mine and kissed me, "I missed you."

I pushed him onto his back and rolled on top of him, "I missed you too."

He reached up and kissed me, rubbing his hands up and down my back, "What are you doing today?"

"I'm going to visit my Mom."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I hesitated for a moment. Taking someone to see my mother was not something I was used to doing. It wasn't that I was ashamed to take someone there, it was that I had never had anyone to take there, and as days went on the number of good days she had was slowly decreasing. "I don't know."

"Okay."

I could tell he didn't know what to say, or what to make of what I said. I knew he wouldn't push me on the subject because he knew how sick she was, "I just don't want it to be one of her bad days; I don't want you to have to experience that."

"Meredith, I see it almost every day at the hospital," he sighed.

"I know," I rolled off of him and rested on my side so I could look at him, "but this is my Mom."

"I'm not going to push you. I just want you to know that whether it is a good day or bad day, I'd like to go with you."

Strands of hair fell into his eyes and I looked at him and decided that it was time to let go of my fear of bringing someone to meet my Mom. I smiled at him and gave him a kiss, "You can come."

Gently he reached out to put his hand on my body, running his hand from my waist up to my cheek, "You call that a kiss?"

As I opened my mouth to fight back, he brought his lips to mine and kissed me hard. He rolled on top of me and I let my hands travel around his body before stopping them on his butt.

"Do we have time?"

I started to bring his shirt up his body, loving the feel of his soft skin, "I guess."

"Well, don't let me interrupt your plans for your day off." He began to edge my old Dartmouth shirt up my body.

I raised my arms to accommodate him, feeling a growing sense of anticipation, "You're not."


	2. Chapter 2: Fireflies

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one, and a big thank you to everyone who reviewed the first chapter of this story!

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 2: Fireflies**_

About a year ago was the last time I remembered my mom being lucid enough to comprehend everything I said to her. Conversations between my mom and I were few and far between, but there were times when she let down her rough exterior and treated me like her little girl. We didn't have the mother-daughter relationship that most girls had, and even now I sometimes found it hard to go visit her. Not because I didn't love her, but because it was painful to hear her repeat some of the things she'd said to me over the years. There were times when I wished that she could understand where I have taken myself... that I was a doctor, even though she didn't think I was cut out for it. I just wanted her to be proud of me.

As we walked through the doors of the nursing home, I began to be afraid of what my mother might say in front of Derek. Sensing my hesitation, he grabbed my hand and walked with me to the front desk so I could ask the nurse where my mother was. The nurse pointed towards outside, telling us that she was sitting at a table outside and having a good day.

Before we continued outside, I stopped him, "There's something you need to know before we go in there."

"What's that?"

"My mother and I didn't exactly have the best relationship."

"Yeah?"

I nodded my head. "So if she starts yelling at me, I'm sorry."

He reached forward and enveloped me into a hug. "Meredith, don't worry... it'll be fine, and I'll be right there with you."

"I'm just saying..."

"I know." He pulled away from me and grabbed my hand, leading me outside.

When we got outside, I steered us in the direction of the table my mother was sitting at. She recognized me as we got closer, and stood up to greet us.

"Mom, this is Derek Shepherd."

He reached out his hand to shake my mother's, and she firmly shook back, "It's nice to meet you Derek. I'm Dr. Ellis Grey."

"How are you today, Dr. Grey?" He smiled at my mother.

"I'm fine, just fine. Enjoying the beautiful weather while I can. You never know when it might start raining around here."

Derek laughed, "Yes, I'm still getting used to that."

"You're not from around here?"

"I just moved here about a year ago. I was living in New York City before."

"What brought you out here?" When my mother asked the question, I just looked at him. I knew he wouldn't tell her the real reason on why he left the city, and I didn't expect him too because it wasn't important anymore.

"A job offer... one that I couldn't turn down. Oh, and the ferry boats. I'm a sucker for ferry boats."

And then she laughed. It was the first time I've heard her laugh in a long time. She even had a smile on her face. "What kind of job?"

"An attending position at a hospital." I sensed the hesitation in his voice as he spoke the words aloud. He didn't want to trigger anything that could make her good day turn bad.

She turned and looked at me. "Meredith, a doctor? Didn't you get enough of that growing up?"

"Guess not, Mom." I smiled at her, even though it was hard knowing that my own mother didn't even remember that I, myself, was a doctor. But it wasn't her fault, it was the disease. The disease that was slowly killing her and me at the same time.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We stayed until just before lunch time, talking with her. Her good day remained in tact for the most part. There were times when she wouldn't remember things, but it was nothing significant enough to call today a bad day, and as we walked out of the nursing home I felt a sense of relief. I was relieved that my mother hadn't embarrassed me in front of Derek, and I was relieved that she had liked him.

"That wasn't too bad." Derek said as we walked towards the car.

"She likes you."

"I'm a likable person."

I snorted. "Sometimes."

"Oh, come on. Your friends like me."

"You're their boss."

"So?"

He opened the passenger door to the car for me and I climbed inside, "They have to like you."

As he started to protest, I closed the door and he made a face at me. He got into the driver's seat and looked at me, "What was your mom talking about earlier?"

"About what?"

"The fireflies."

"Oh nothing, it was a silly thing I used to do when I was little," I blushed.

"Come on, tell me." He started the car and began to drive out of the parking lot.

"It's silly."

"I like silly things... almost as much as I like ferry boats."

"I used to catch fireflies."

"There's gotta be more to the story than that."

"I used to think they were Tinkerbell."

"And?"

"I used to think that I was part of Neverland, and that's why I could see Tinkerbell and no one else could."

He gave me a quick glance and smiled, "That's cute."

"You don't think it's silly?"

"It's your imagination. I used to have an imaginary friend."

I laughed, "What was his name?"

"What makes you think it was a he?" He said as we made our way through an intersection, and before I had the chance to respond I saw a car speeding through the red light.

"Derek!" I screamed, "watch out!"

**Please remember to write a review! Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3: Life in Slow Motion

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks!

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 3: Life in Slow Motion**_

He tried to stop, but it was too late. The brakes screeched and I turned my head just in time to see the car slam into the side of ours. My body jerked, and the car tumbled over onto it's side. Glass shattered everywhere, and I felt shards attach to my skin. Panic arose inside of me as I tried to move around to see if Derek was alright, but I was stuck. My legs were pinned by the dashboard and the car door, and blood was soaking my jeans. I reached my hand up to my head and felt warm liquid along my temple.

"Meredith," he groaned.

I started to cry. "I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"I can't move," I gasped for air, attempting to steady my breathing, "are you okay?"

"Meredith, take a deep breath, and try to calm down."

I gasped again, "are you okay?"

"For the most part." He was lying, I could always tell when he lied.

"I think something's wrong."

"Hold on, Meredith."

In the distance I heard the sirens of the ambulance and police. Derek kept telling me to hold on, that they were coming, but slowly the noise began to fade out and I closed my eyes.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I've heard a lot of patients talk about the white light, but I never really believed in it. I never believed that there was a heaven or hell, or a purgatory. I just believed in life, and the choices that you made were how your life would turn out. Life was full of chances, if you were willing to see them and if you were willing to take them. It was all about decisions. Decisions that only you could make, and I believe that on the day of the accident, I made the decision to live.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Someone was touching my body. I could hear another voice in the background giving orders, telling someone they had to remove the car door first. I opened my eyes, and looked around. The car had been moved off it's side and there were flashing red, white, and blue lights all around. I tried to listen for Derek, but I didn't hear him. The noise of everything outside of the car drowned out everything else. My body ached, and I started to moan. The paramedics told me to stay still, that I was going to be fine. I just wish I believed them.

"Derek..." I moaned.

"Is that your friend?" A paramedic asked me.

"Yes." Tears streamed down my face, this wasn't supposed to happen.

"He's okay, Miss. We've already removed him from the car. The other paramedics are working on him right now."

"We are doctors."

"He told us. Don't worry. You're gonna be out of there in no time."

"Don't lie."

The paramedic looked at me and smiled, "I'm not. What's your name?"

"Meredith."

"Ok Meredith, we're going to try to take the car door off now, and then we'll be able to get you out of there."

I nodded and waited. I saw them attach a cord to the car door to pull it off in what seemed like slow motion. There was a loud bang, and it was gone. They told me not to move and started to pull me out of the car by the armpits. A stretcher was there waiting for me, and as they gently removed me from the car, I saw people on the sidelines watching, and I wondered what it was about accidents that made people stop and stare?

They placed me on the stretcher and put a brace around my neck. All my hopes for trying to locate Derek were shot down, but I was able to see the car and the blood that had splattered everywhere. The paramedics were telling me to hang on, that they were going to take me to Seattle Grace. They rushed around me and I felt my eyes grow heavy again, and as the ambulance began to move, my only thoughts were of Derek and if he was alright.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

A loud beeping awoke me from my sleep. At first, I thought it was my alarm clock, telling me that it was time to get up and work for 35 hours, but then I remembered what had happened. I opened my eyes and was confronted by the familiar ICU rooms of the Seattle Grace Hospital.

"You're awake." Cristina said.

"Where is he?"

"He's fine," Cristina said as she checked all my vitals, "he checked out today."

"How long have I been out?"

"A couple days."

It was at that moment that I realized I couldn't move my legs. "Cristina. What's wrong with me?"

"Meredith..."

"Cristina, I'm freaking out here."

She looked at me in the eyes and then looked away, "You're paralyzed."

"Permanently?"

"We don't know."

A lone tear fell down my cheek, "Go away."

"Meredith."

"Just go. I need to be alone." Cristina turned and started to walk out of the room, giving me one final glance before leaving my room, and I thought about asking her to stay. I didn't want to be alone... not like this.

I closed my eyes and tried to hold back the tears, trying to reassure myself that this might not be permanent, but I couldn't. I wanted Derek. I needed him here with me.

"Meredith." His voice startled me.

I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was on crutches and had a bandage on his arm and head. I started to cry harder, "Derek... what happened to me?"

**Don't forget to review the story! Tell me if you have any ideas for the story and I'll consider them! Thanks!**


	4. Chapter 4: Through the Dark

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 4: Through the Dark**_

Derek inched towards me with tears in his eyes, "I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," I mumbled through my sobs.

"I should've double checked the intersection before going through it... I should've made sure everyone had stopped."

My tears subsided for a minute and I looked at him, "This isn't your fault."

"Yes it is."

"It's not."

He hobbled over towards the bed, sat down next to me and grabbed my hand, "You're going to get through this."

Before I had the chance to respond, George and Izzie walked into the room. I wanted to talk to Derek, but I wasn't going to tell them to go away. They were, after all, coming to see how I was doing. I felt bad enough about making Cristina leave.

"Cristina told us you were awake," Izzie said.

"How are you?" George asked.

"Fine."

"Meredith," Izzie looked at the ground, "we know this is hard..."

"You know this is hard? How could you possibly know what it feels like to wake up and be paralyzed?" Everyone flinched at my words and hot tears splashed onto my cheeks.

"You can get through this, Meredith," George remarked. He was always the optimist.

"George, I don't even know what happened to me. No one in this hospital has had the decency to tell me what the hell is going on with me."

"Meredith, I was just coming to see you," the Chief said as he walked into the room, "could you all excuse us for a few minutes?"

George and Izzie somberly left the room, while Derek stayed sitting next to me. I squeezed his hand, signaling for him that he could leave, but he wouldn't move.

"Dr. Shepherd, could you please leave the room?" The Chief asked.

"Richard, I don't think - "

" - Now, Dr. Shepherd," the Chief demanded. Derek got up and put his crutches under his armpits. He looked at me and then crutched himself out of the room, leaving me alone with the Chief.

"How are you feeling, Meredith?"

"Fine."

"You gave us quite a scare."

"Just tell me. Please."

"The damage to your spinal cord was very severe, Meredith. We tried our best to repair the contusion, but only time will tell if we were able to stop it in time to save any of your nerves."

I didn't know what to say to him. The tears that had started when George and Izzie had came into the room had not subsided. I knew there was only a slim chance that I would ever walk again. If I had already lost the ability for my nerve messages to travel from my brain to my legs, it didn't look good for me ever walking again.

My silence prompted the Chief to continue talking. "Meredith, I don't want you to think that just because you can't move your legs now, you'll never be able to. There is a chance that with time after you've started to heal and the pressure has gone down, that you could regain your ability to walk. There could still be some nerves in there, it just may take some time."

I tried to speak, but the words wouldn't come out and the sobs just kept coming. I wanted Derek back. I wanted him in this room with me, I didn't want this to be true. I wanted the Chief to go away, to wake up and realize that this was all a dream, that Derek and I were sleeping and it was all a nightmare.

"I won't begin to say that I understand, Meredith. There are a lot of things at risk here."

I fought back the urge to scream "no shit" because I knew that wouldn't help the situation, and, I found myself wondering if I would even be able to go to the bathroom on my own, or have sex with Derek again. Would the last time we had sex really be a few days ago? The more thoughts that came to my head, the more I couldn't breathe, and I started gasping for air.

"Meredith, you need to calm down, or I'm going to sedate you."

A few seconds later, he walked up to my IV and picked up the syringe to insert the sedative.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I woke up to the sound of Derek's voice. He was talking to the "sleeping me," as Cristina would say, so I kept my eyes closed and listened.

"I didn't even see the car coming until you screamed, and I promise I tried to stop. It was just too late, and now look at you. You're in a hospital bed because of me, because I wasn't careful enough."

I thought about opening my eyes, and telling him again that it wasn't his fault. But then, he grabbed my hand with his, bringing my hand up to his lips for a kiss. "I love you, Meredith. No matter what happens, I'm never going to leave you. If you try to push me away, I'll stay. I won't leave you. You mean more to me than anyone ever has, and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry that I did this to you."

He rested his head onto my hand, and it wasn't long before I felt hot liquid drop onto my hand. He was crying because of me, because he felt like he had let me down... like he had done this to me. And while I knew I had little control over whether I would walk again or not, in that moment, as his hot tears splattered onto my hand, I vowed to myself that I would get better. That I would try and beat the odds, that I, Meredith Grey, would not let something like this ruin my life. That I would do this for both of us because he needed me to be okay as much as I needed myself to be okay.

Everything was silent except for the sound of him crying on my hand. I was about to squeeze his hand, to let him know that I was awake when I heard someone else's footsteps enter the room, and I heard him abruptly stop crying. He lifted his head up and dropped my hand.

"What the hell are you doing here?" His voice was filled with anger and I opened my eyes to see who he was talking to.

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	5. Chapter 5: Some Devil

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 5: Some Devil**_

Addison stood still and stared at him, "Richard called me."

"He shouldn't have," Derek grabbed his crutches and stood up, and I closed my eyes before he saw that I was awake. His voice was laced with anger, "you shouldn't be here."

"I came to see if you were alright."

"You're about four days late."

Addison stared at Derek, her lips clenched with anger, "I came as soon as I could, Derek."

"I'm fine, Addison. Get out of here."

"How is she?" Addison ignored him and walked further into the room.

"Don't pretend like you care."

"I care."

"Addison, just go," Derek sighed, "I don't even know why you came here."

"I still love you, Derek. Just because we're divorced doesn't mean I stopped loving you."

The room was quiet and I opened my eyes. I was done listening to their conversation. "You sure know how to kick a girl when she's down."

Derek turned to me and smiled, "Meredith."

I tried to sound groggy, "What's going on?"

"Addison was just leaving."

"I heard about the accident, so I came back to make sure you were both okay," she tried to defend herself.

"Don't kid yourself." I was in no mood to deal with her.

"Addison, please... just leave." Derek begged her, and I couldn't tell if he was begging her to go because he didn't want her there or because he didn't want to her to upset me.

"I'll leave the room, but my flight doesn't leave until tomorrow, so I'll still be around," Addison said as she turned to walk out the door, "and for the record, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, Derek."

"Good-bye, Addison." Derek said as she walked out the door. I didn't bother saying good-bye. Once she had left the room, he sat down on the side of my bed and gave me a kiss, "I didn't know she was here until she came into the room."

"I know."

"How?"

"I was awake while you guys were talking."

"Oh," he said as he stroked my hand, "how are you feeling?"

"Alright, I guess...you know, under the circumstances."

Derek sighed, and I realized that I hadn't asked what happened to the driver of the other car, "What happened to the driver of the car that hit us?"

"She walked away with a few cuts and bruises. Nothing extensive."

"So, I was the lucky one," I joked. When in doubt, I always thought laughter was the best medicine. Not only because it created endorphins, but because it always felt good to laugh.Derek remained quiet at first, but after a few seconds of my laughter filling the room, he joined me.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Some time in the middle of the night I woke up and saw Derek sleeping in the chair next to my bed. Drool was coming out of his slightly parted mouth, and I smiled. It took me a few minutes to remember just where I was and why I was here. I had been trying to avoid the reality of the situation, and while I had made the decision to fight, it didn't make the reality any easier. Because the reality was that even if I did fight back in the way that I promised myself I would, there was still a chance that it wouldn't be enough. I knew I had to be the optimist. I had to believe that I would get better or else mind would trump desire because every time I didn't move a toe or take a step, I knew I would get that much closer to not believing I could walk again.

"You're staring at me again."

I started to blush, "Sorry."

"What are you doing up?" He sat up in the chair and grabbed my hand.

"Thinking."

"About?"

"Walking."

"Meredith... just take it one step at a time."

"I know... I'm just thinking that for once in my life I've gotta be an optimist. You know, mind over matter."

Derek laughed. "Meredith Grey, pessimist no more."

"I'm serious."

"I know, but right now you really need your sleep."

"Yes, doctor." I smirked.

He got up to give me a kiss, "I'll be back in a little while."

"Okay," I watched him leave the room and then closed my eyes, trying to think of nothing.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I woke up to find Derek absent from his chair beside my bed, and I suddenly felt very alone. I turned my head and through the glass of the room, I saw him outside my room talking to Addison, and then I saw her reach forward and kiss him.

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	6. Chapter 6: Stay or Leave

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 6: Stay or Leave**_

Life changes fast. In an instant everything you have can be taken from you, and then it becomes a question of self-pity. It becomes an issue of if you're going to give up. Are you going to resign yourself to whatever comes or are you going to stand up and say "I can get through this"?

Life is about desire. It's about wanting to live; it's about having the guts to say I can make it through anything that comes my way. You take it blow by blow, getting right back up after each one, because that's what it means to be alive. Being alive means that suffering and happiness come hand in hand. It means that sometimes what goes around comes around, and that sometimes life doesn't always turn out the way you planned.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My fight with self-pity was at an all-time high because I just saw Addison move in to kiss Derek, and I couldn't do a thing about it. I was locked in this bed, held captive by my injuries, fighting my steady rising feelings of self-pity. The scene unfolded in front of me, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I couldn't get out of bed and tackle her, or slap her.

To Derek's credit, he wasn't kissing her back. It did, however, take him a few seconds before he brought his hands up to her shoulders to push her away, and I could only hope that his hesitation was caused by shock.

I could hear them yelling. I had never seen Derek so angry. Nurses and other doctors were standing still watching the scene unfold, and then I thought about what I had told Derek the first night we had gotten back together. How I had told him that I didn't want anyone in the hospital to know, but now that didn't seem possible.

Derek started to hobble away on his crutches, and Addison stood there with a look of shock on her face. Nurses and doctors that had started to gather around them dispersed as he opened the door to my room, "You're awake."

"I saw you." There was no point in hiding from what happened, and I didn't want to give him the chance to lie to me because right now, that was the last thing I needed.

"She kissed me."

"I saw."

"I didn't want her to."

"What do you want?"

He crutched his way over to the bed and sat down, "You."

"What were you talking about with her?"

"Meredith - "

I interrupted him, " - I want to know."

"Meredith, she isn't worth it," he shook his head, "it doesn't matter."

"Yes it does," I ripped my hand away from his, "I want to know."

"You want to know," he shouted, "she wanted to know how I would deal with a cripple."

I cringed at his words, not liking the sound of the word "cripple." I looked at Derek, trying to hold in the tears because I knew the tears had to stop. They had to, or else it would be that much harder to not wallow in self-pity. Derek looked like he had just killed me on his operating table, and I put my hand back on his, "And what did you say?"

"I told her that I believed in you."

"And then?"

"She kissed me."

"I saw."

"Yeah," he looked away, ashamed of himself.

"What did you say to her after she kissed you?" I didn't really want to know what was said between them because hearing that I was called a cripple was enough for me, but my curiosity got the better of me.

"She told me that there was still a chance for us."

"And?"

"And I told her that I wanted you. That I should have chosen you from the beginning."

"I see."

"That I'd love you until the day I die."

I smirked, "I guess she wasn't too happy about that."

He laughed. "No."

"So, do you think I can do it?" I asked because I knew what he'd say. He'd tell me, "of course you can do it," but I wanted to be reassured. I needed to know that someone else believed in me, that someone else was in my corner, because I didn't want to do this alone.

"Of course I do," he picked up my hand and kissed it, "you can do anything you believe in."

"You're not just saying that?"

"Meredith," he sighed, "no, I believe that anything is possible. Even as a doctor I believe that the desire to do something can overpower an injury."

"So do I."

"Then, what are you worried about?"

"I'm worried that I'll get easily frustrated and start believing that I can't do it. I'm worried that maybe I just don't have it in me. I'm worried that you'll leave me."

Derek's head shot up, "I will never leave you."

"You say that now... but what if I don't walk again? And, what if I can't have sex with you anymore?"

"Meredith, you will walk again," he kissed me fiercely, "and have I ever given you the impression that all I care about is sex?"

"No."

"Then, why would I start now?"

"Because I can't give it to you anymore."

He shook his head at me, "Meredith I will never leave you. And you know, there's always masturbation."

We both laughed. It felt good to laugh because even though I was in this situation, I was still happier than I was a week ago. "Just promise me something."

"Okay."

"Promise me that you'll keep me laughing."

"That I can do," he smiled.

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	7. Chapter 7: Fix You

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **Sorry it's taken me awhile to write the 7th chapter everyone... there have been family health issues. Hope you enjoy.

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 7: Fix You**_

Addison left a few days later. She didn't come near Derek or I again, and I found myself wondering what exactly Derek said out in that hallway. Cristina and Izzie sidestepped the issue, saying that there wasn't anything interesting to tell. And George… well I didn't even bother asking him after I got nowhere with Cristina and Izzie. I thought about asking Derek directly, but after our conversation a few nights ago I didn't want to bring it up again. The last thing I needed on top of my bouts of self-pity was fear. Fear that Derek might leave me, fear of being left alone. The rational side of me knew that he wouldn't leave me because every time I woke up he was there, watching and protecting me.

One night I woke up because he had crawled into bed with me, and when I asked him what he was doing he told me I was crying in my sleep. So, he curled up in my bed with me, hoping to calm me down. Moments like those were the times that made me abandon all doubts and fears. They made me forget the fact that I couldn't move my legs anymore. They made me feel normal.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Today, Derek pushed me out of the hospital in a wheelchair. I was going home. Not exactly the way I wanted to, but I was going home. No more nurses, no more random visitors. Now I could be at home with Derek, and not have to worry about who was watching us.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek asked as he wheeled me towards my car.

"How I'm glad to be going home."

"What?" He smirked, "you didn't like having nurses around to do everything for you?"

"I just want to be in my own bed. With you."

"Me too," he smiled, "ready?"

Derek bent down to pick me up after I nodded my head, "Don't hurt your back."

He placed me into the front seat and buckled me in. "You are like lifting a feather."

"Whatever."

Derek went around the front of the car and got it. It wasn't until he started the car that I realized how afraid I actually was to be back in the car. My hands instinctively grabbed my legs and I closed my eyes.

He turned the car off. "Are you okay?"

"I didn't realize how scared I would be."

Derek shook his head, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"I should have realized –"

"- Derek this isn't your fault," I interrupted, "turn on the car and drive."

He looked at me, asking me to give him approval to start the car and I nodded my head. The engine turned on and I struggled to maintain control. When I was laying in that hospital bed, I hadn't considered the fear of getting back into a car.

Derek started to drive. "Everything okay?"

I tried to control my breathing, "Yeah… just, go slow, okay?"

He reached out with his right hand and grabbed mine, "I will."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Derek pulled my car up into the driveway and got out. He opened the trunk and got my wheelchair out, walking it over to the front door, leaving me alone in the car. I felt helpless. I felt like for the rest of my life I was going to need someone to help me, and for the first time I thought about how I was going to move around the house. Sure, I could use the wheelchair downstairs, but what if I wanted to go into my room or use the bathroom upstairs? What if I wanted to take a shower? Would someone have to help me do that too?

Derek opened the front door and then walked back towards the car. I tried to hold back my tears. There were so many things I hadn't considered, so many problems that arose out of being paralyzed.

He opened my car door and looked at me, "Ready?"

"I guess."

He lifted me out of the car and carried me to the house, and as he walked me through the doorway I thought about how this type of carrying was typically only done after marriage, but now it was because I couldn't walk myself across the doorway. I tried to smile as he carried me into the living room, but it was hard. It was hard not to cry, it was hard not to be angry because I could no longer do the simple things that I usually didn't make a big deal out of like walking into the kitchen or going upstairs.

"Meredith, you're going to be okay," Derek said as he set me down on the couch and draped a blanket over me.

"How do you know that?"

"Trust me."

I didn't know what to say back to him, so I remained silent. He turned on the television and handed me the remote before leaving the room to order pizza. Suddenly, I found myself alone, and a slow panic started to rise in my body. Panic over what I would do if something happened. There was no way for me to move. I was helpless.

"Pizza's ordered," he said as he walked back into the room.

I nodded my head and pretended to watch the episode of "Friends" that was on. He came over and joined me on the couch, lifting my legs up so he could sit down under them. As he placed my legs back onto his lap, I wished that I could feel his body through my jeans. I wished that I could wiggle my toes, but I couldn't. I strained my body, trying to force my toes to move, but there was no luck, only frustration.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

The car was moving fast and I screamed. I looked around and we were driving in circles. Derek was possessed with laughter as a car followed closely behind us. My body moved freely about the car and I realized that I didn't have my seatbelt on. The car behind us slammed into the back of the car and my whole body jerked forward. My head hit the windshield. Tears poured violently down my face and I screamed at Derek to stop, but he only continued to accelerate the car. The other car pulled up beside us and I turned to look at the driver. It was Addison. She was laughing too. I looked back at Derek and saw him looking at Addison, and then he smiled at her. It was like they had been planning this. They were trying to kill me.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

I woke up to Derek gently shaking me and repeating my name over and over again. He stopped when he saw that my eyes were open and replaced the shaking with a gently rubbing of my hands.

I began to open my mouth to ask him what happened, but he beat me to it, "I can't believe you just did that."

"What?"

"Your toes," he smiled, "they moved."


	8. Chapter 8: River of Tears

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **Thanks for all the reviews ... and...

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

_**Chapter 8: River of Tears**_

It had been two days and my toes hadn't moved again. My frustration was only growing, even though I knew that any sign of movement in my legs was a good sign. When Derek told me that my toes had moved, I thought this was it. I thought that maybe my life wouldn't be confined to a wheelchair; that maybe, just maybe, I got lucky and would be able to walk up the stairs to my own bedroom again, or just stand in the shower. And now, my optimism was slowly fading. Two days seemed like an eternity. and I felt the cracks beginning to form around my belief that I would get through this.

Derek was still on leave from the hospital, so he was by my side every day. He was so attentive and loving, and yet I found myself angry with him. Not anger over what had happened because I knew that wasn't his fault. I was angry that he could walk. I was angry that he seemed to take his walking for granted, while I was stuck in a wheelchair or on the couch only able to move if he picked me up. I tried not to show him my anger because I knew it was silly. I knew that none of this was something he had control over.

For the past two nights, I cried myself to sleep after I knew Derek was already asleep, and tonight was no different. I tried to keep my sobs silent and my breathing normal, but it was hard, and I was tired of pretending. Tired of acting as if nothing had changed; tired of acting like I was okay.

"Meredith," Derek mumbled and I held my breath, hoping that I didn't wake him. He rolled over and then pushed his body up into a sitting position. "Meredith."

"I'm okay." I didn't roll over. I kept my body facing the wall, trying to hide my face from his.

"Don't lie to me."

"Derek - "

" - No, Meredith. For the past two nights I've heard you crying in your sleep," he interrupted, "tell me what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong," I sniffed.

"I can tell when you've been crying, Meredith."

I started to cry again. "I just... I just don't understand."

Derek moved back down onto the bed and curled up around me from behind, "I know, Meredith. But you moved your toes once, you'll do it again."

"I can't take this anymore. I know its only been two weeks, but I just can't take it anymore."

"Yes you can." He squeezed me tightly.

"Why can't I move them now?"

"I'm not sure... but maybe it had to do with your state of mind when you did move them. What were you dreaming about the night you moved your toes?"

I hadn't told Derek about my nightmare that night because I didn't want to upset him, and even though I wanted to keep the dream from him, I had to take a chance because maybe he'd know what triggered my toes to move that night. "I had a nightmare that we were back in the car."

"And?"

"And you were driving, and I was in the passenger seat."

"Okay."

"And Addison was driving the other car."

Derek didn't say anything for few minutes, and then he brought his hand up to my shoulder to roll me over to face him. "Why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

"I didn't think it was important."

"Meredith," he sighed, "Addison is far away from us now, and while I can somewhat understand where your dream came from... I need you to remember that I don't love Addison anymore. I love you."

"I love you too."

He leaned forward and kissed me. "You'll move your toes again. I believe in you."

"Well at least one of us does."

"Stop that."

"What?" I growled.

"Don't. Meredith, don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Don't get mad at me. It isn't going to help."

"I know." I knew he was right, but the anger just wouldn't go away.

"I know you're frustrated."

"You don't know how I'm feeling," I said softly and the minute the words came out of my mouth, I regretted saying them.

"How can you say that to me?" He pulled his body away from mine, and I knew I was in trouble.

"Derek... I didn't mean to," I reached out for him, "I'm just so... so damn tired of this and it's only been a few days. I mean what if I can never walk again and I'm stuck having to have someone else help me for the rest of my life?"

He put his arm under my neck and brought his other arm around me to hug me. "Don't think like that."

"I can't help it."

"Meredith, I promise, you'll... we'll... get through this."

Tears started to fall down my face and hit my pillow, making it look like a river ran down the sheet. "I want to believe you."

"How about... you believe in me, and I'll help you get through this."

I didn't say anything to him. I just laid there in his arms and thought about what he was saying. I wanted to believe that I could do this. I wanted to believe that my toes moving wasn't just a one time thing. But, I had trouble maintaining a steady belief that I would get better. Self-pity and doubt constantly edged deeper into my mind. I tried hard to push those thoughts out, but it wasn't that easy, and sometimes I found myself wishing that I had just died in that car.

"Meredith. Trust me."

"I trust you."

"You trust me?"

"Yes."

"Get up." Derek said as he moved off the bed and was now standing at the side.

"That's not funny."

"Use your arms."

"No."

"Meredith, do it."

I used my arms and pushed myself up into a sitting position. Derek walked around to the side of the bed that my body was laying on. He grabbed my legs and moved them over the edge of the bed so they were touching the floor. I looked at him as I sat on my bed the way I had so many mornings before I actually made the final push to get out of bed, and said, "What are you doing?"

"We're going to do this." He extended his hand and I knew what he wanted me to do.

"I can't stand Derek."

"How do you know unless you try?"

"I can't."

"Who says?" He was being just as stubborn as I was, and I knew I wasn't going to win.

"I do."

"Meredith, get up."

"The Chief told me to take it easy."

"It's been a couple of days, you'll be okay."

I looked at him and shook my head, "I can't."

He gently brought his hand to my chin and pushed my face up so my eyes met his, "Yes you can."

I nodded my head and took a deep breath. I knew that this was it. This was the moment that would either make me or break me.

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	9. Chapter 9: How to Save a Life

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** Thanks for all the reviews ... and...I just wanted to apologize to you all who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 9. It's been a long month, but I'm back now! Hope you enjoy it!

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

**_Chapter 9: How to Save a Life_**

Derek stood in front of me, waiting. Waiting for me to push my hands down on the bed and try to push my body into a standing position; waiting for me to trust myself. His eyes pierced into me, and I knew that he wasn't going to move until I tried… he was just that stubborn.

I glanced around the room, averting my eyes from his. "I don't know if I can do this."

"You aren't backing away from this, Meredith."

"Don't you understand?" I whispered.

"I understand your fear, but how are you going to ever believe… actually believe in yourself… that you can do this. That you have the strength to overcome this if you don't take a chance."

I wanted to be stubborn. I wanted to fight back, but I couldn't because I knew he was right. I knew my fear was stopping me, and there was only one thing that I could do to stop it. I had to try.

"I'll be right here."

I nodded my head, and took a deep breath as I pushed my hands down onto the mattress. I used my arm strength to push my body up, keeping my hands on the mattress for support. Derek stood still, waiting for me to lift my hands up off of the bed, as I stood there trying to muster the courage to let go of the bed. And I couldn't help but think, what is the worst that could happen? I already think that the probability of me walking again is slim… and I already have such little faith in myself that I should probably see a therapist. So, why didn't I just take a chance? And since I didn't have an answer… I decided it was time to let go.

I moved one hand first, leaving my other hand positioned on the bed, and Derek moved closer, hovering around me. I took one final deep breath and let go with my other hand, only to feel Derek's hand immediately grab onto my waist.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Making sure you don't fall."

"I'm not afraid of falling."

"What are you afraid of?"

"Not having faith in myself, not being able to walk again."

Derek nodded his head, "I have faith in you."

"I know, but I need to have faith in myself."

"I know."

"So, let go."

He squeezed my waist with his hand before releasing his hold on me. For a few seconds, I stood without any support. I was standing. It was like I was floating across the floor because I still couldn't feel my feet. A second later I was falling, but his arms were there to catch me, and all I could think was… maybe all hope wasn't lost.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Derek and I celebrated by ordering in, and lighting some candles. George and Izzie were at the hospital for the night, and so it was just the two of us. And, for the first time in a long time, I was happy.

"What kind do you want?" Derek called from the kitchen, where he was serving our food.

"I think… kung pao chicken."

"Living dangerously are we?" He laughed.

"You'll see just how dangerous I am after I eat this." I was sitting on the couch watching a rerun of "Friends," laughing. It felt good to laugh. It felt like I hadn't laughed in years, and the more I continued to laugh, the happier I felt.

"You certainly are full of it tonight," Derek chuckled as he walked into the living room with our plates of food.

"Can you blame me?"

"No," he smiled.

As we sat on the couch, watching old "Friends" episodes, eating our Chinese dinner, I couldn't help but feel like maybe things were returning to normal. That maybe my life would turn around now.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

It had been three days since I stood in my bedroom with Derek. Since then, I had made little progress. Each time I seemed to stand a little bit longer, but I wanted more. I wanted to be able to walk again; I wanted to be able to run again. I wanted to be able to go to the bathroom by myself. I wanted to be able to make love to Derek. But I couldn't. I knew the process would be slow, but I was anxious. Anxious to move on with my life; to put this all behind me, behind us.

I heard Derek singing an old 80s song in the shower as I sat in bed, waiting for my turn in the shower. Not that I would be showering, baths were the only thing that worked for me right now. I wanted this day to move onward because in a few hours I had a check up at the hospital with the Chief, and I wanted to hear good news. I wanted him to tell me that I wasn't far off from walking again; I wanted him to tell me that with some hard physical therapy I could be better than I was almost a month ago. I just wanted to be normal again.

"What are you thinking about?"

I jumped at the sound of Derek's voice. "You scared me."

"Sorry," he smirked as we walked over towards the bed, "what are you thinking about?"

"Going to the hospital."

"It's going to be okay."

"I hope so."

"Know so." He bent down and kissed me, and then walked back into the bathroom.

As he continued to get ready in the bathroom, I laid there, waiting for him to pick me up and place me into the bath tub, like he had done for the past few weeks. It was becoming routine.

"Your bath is ready for you."

He would always fill the tub with warm water, placing a little bit of bubbles in it, just to make it fun, and then he would come over the bed and lift me up into his arms to place me inside. "Yeah, I'm ready."

His towel had disappeared from around his waist, and he was walking towards me naked. He picked up me and carried me into the bathroom, gently placing me down into the water, and then he climbed inside with me, sitting down behind me. "I figured you could use some company today."

I smiled and nodded my head, thinking that maybe this routine wasn't so bad after all.

**Don't forget to review! ... and Thanks!**


	10. Chapter 10: Open Your Eyes

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** Thanks for all the reviews ... and...I just wanted to apologize to you all who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 10... it's here now!

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

** >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.**

**  
Chapter 10: Open Your Eyes**

As Derek drove us to the hospital we sat in silence. He held my hand as I stared out the window, trying not to focus on the fact that I was in a car. I now hated being in cars. I hated the feeling of fear I got when I put my seat buckle on. I hated how I couldn't seem to relax and enjoy the music in the car anymore. Being in the car was now something that caused me the greatest fear. Sometimes I felt the panic rising inside of me, and I struggled to maintain in control. And now, as we drive down the street with the entrance to the hospital the panic inside of me was boiling over.

Derek squeezed my hand, "Are you okay?"

I didn't turn my head and look at him. Instead, I just squeezed back.

"It's going to be okay," Derek said softly, "everyone is going to be excited to see you, and then you'll show them how much progress you've made and everything will be fine."

My mouth was dry. I couldn't seem to find the words to agree with him; to tell him that I knew he was right.

"I'll be right there with you the whole time."

I turned my head and looked at him and whispered, "Promise?"

"I promise."

He pulled the car into the Seattle Grace parking lot and parked in a handicap space. That was another thing I wasn't used to... being handicapped. The wheelchair sat in the trunk of his car, and I dreaded using it. I hated it. I wanted to be okay.

Derek placed the temporary handicapped sign on the mirror, and then opened his door, "I'm going to get the chair."

He closed his car door and walked around to the trunk to get out the wheelchair, and before I knew it he was opening my door. "I don't want to go in there."

"Meredith..."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can. I will be there with you and so will your friends."

A lone tear snuck out from my eye, "I just can't."

"It's going to be fine," he said as he unbuckled my seatbelt and lifted me out of the car seat and into the wheelchair. "I do not want to go in there." I wanted to scream at him, but I tried to keep my voice calm.

"You have to."

"I'll go to a new doctor."

"No, Meredith. We are going inside. Are you ready?"

I sighed in resignation, "Fine."

He pushed me towards the entrance, and right before we went inside whispered, "I love you."

As we sat outside the Chief's office, Izzie, Cristina and George all dropped by to say "hi." I tried to act normal, but I just couldn't. People were staring. They were staring at me... in my wheelchair, and they were staring at Derek. The looks that passed between the nurses, the snickering of some doctors, I saw and heard it all. It was like people thought that I wouldn't see them; it was like they thought I was blind.

Derek grabbed my hand. "Don't worry about them."

"How did you know?"

"I can tell."

Before I managed to get anything out, the Chief's door opened and he asked us to come inside. Derek stood up and wheeled me inside.

"Meredith, how are you feeling?" The Chief asked.

"Okay."

"Any progress?"

"A little."

"She's understating her progress, Richard," Derek interrupted, "she's been able to stand without holding onto anything for a few seconds."

"That's good news, Meredith." The Chief said. He looked surprised. "That is a very good sign for you."

I couldn't say anything. What was I going to say? Good? The fact of the matter was it wasn't good. I wasn't walking. I wasn't back to my normal self.

"You have to take it one step at a time." The Chief continued. "It's not going to happen instantly."

"I know that."

"Meredith - " Derek started, but I just couldn't take it anymore.

"No. Everyone is treating me like I am not a surgeon. I am. I understand what is going on with my body. I know the likelihood of me regaining all my previous mobility. I know how long it is going to take. We don't have to keep talking about this like I am not a surgeon. Please"  
They both sat there silent. No one moved. I felt better. It felt good to finally get that off my chest. I felt like I had finally taken a weight off of my chest that just seemed to be pushing and pushing. I had finally freed myself of the idea that I was just a patient. I wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Meredith." The Chief said quietly. "I don't mean to treat you like you aren't a surgeon."

"I know that neither of you do it intentionally. It just... can we just act like I am not the patient. That maybe we are talking about a different person who just happens to have the same problems that I do? Because that way I'll feel like I am part of the decision process."

Derek grabbed my hand and nodded his head, "We can."

"Do you think you can stand for me now?" The Chief asked.

"I can try."

"Take your time."

Derek stood up, preparing himself to catch me if I fell. I placed my hands on the armrests of the wheelchair, and took a deep breath. I pushed down on the armrests and slowly got myself into a standing position. I stood there for a few minutes before I decided that maybe I would try to take a step. Derek inched closer to me, and Chief sat there staring to me. With all that I had, I tried to move my right leg. It moved a few inches, but then I felt myself falling until Derek's arms caught me and placed me back into the wheelchair.

"That was good." The Chief nodded.

"I think that is the longest you've stood." Derek agreed.

I didn't say anything. I only wished that I had taken that step.

"Meredith, it looks like your progressing well. You should start physical therapy in a few weeks, and we'll go from there."

"Okay."

"But before you go there is just one thing I need to talk to you both about."

"Chief... if this is about our relationship and the hospital..." Derek started, but was interrupted by the Chief.

"It's not."

"Then what's wrong?" Derek asked.

"We wanted to wait to tell you. We didn't want to put too much on you at once, Meredith."

"What are you talking about?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know. I didn't know if I could take anymore.

"Meredith," the Chief said quietly, "when you came into the hospital, you were very hurt."

"I know." I wanted to scream. Obviously. Why else wouldn't I be able to walk right now, jackass?

"Chief, what's going on?" Derek was getting impatient.

"Meredith, when you came in," the Chief hesitated, "you were pregnant."

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	11. Chapter 11: What Hurts the Most

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** Thanks for all the reviews ... and...I just wanted to apologize to you all who have been anxiously awaiting Chapter 11... it took me awhile to get back to myself.. plus all of those previews for the season premiere provide some really good motivation. Enjoy!

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

**  
Chapter 11: What Hurts the Most**

It took me a few moments to comprehend what the Chief had said. Derek had not said a word, and I knew from the look on his face that he had not known about it either. We all sat there silently, and the Chief stared at us like he had not just said anything of importance.

"We had a right to know," Derek stated. I could hear the anger in his voice.

"Derek…"

Derek stood up and paced the room. "No, Chief. We had every right to know… whatever reasoning you used to justify keeping this from us… we had a right to know."

The Chief stood up and walked towards Derek. "Just listen to me, Derek."

"What could you possibly say to justify this?"

"We were trying to protect you both."

I looked at the Chief, standing in front of Derek, not even paying attention to me, and I suddenly found my voice. "Protect us? You thought you were trying to protect us? How on earth would that protect us? As doctors you should have informed your patients of anything that happened as a result of the accident. You had absolutely no right to keep that from us."

The Chief looked at me for the first time since Derek had began to yell. He looked ashamed. "I know it was wrong, but you were both already dealing with so much."

"Richard, you can't justify this. There is no way that this should have ever been kept from Meredith or myself. Who else knows about this?"

"No one else knows."

I glanced at Derek. He looked shattered. His face was red, the anger showed through his skin. His eyes glassy, like he was about to cry. "Derek, I want to go."

Derek walked over towards me, and before he put his hands on the wheelchair, he grabbed my shoulder. His touch gave me chills and was reassuring. I just wanted to get home.

"Please, Meredith. You need to listen to me." The Chief begged.

Derek stopped wheeling me away and turned me to face the Chief. "It's too hard right now, Chief. Maybe one day we can talk about it, but right now, I cannot look at you."

Derek wheeled me out of the room and we managed to escape without running into anyone. He silently lifted me up into the car and shut the door. I tired to think of something to say, but sometimes silence is better than talking. It wasn't like we had just had a miscarriage; the accident caused this to happen. The accident took a baby away from Derek and I.

When Derek got into the driver's seat he sat there silently. He didn't start the engine; he just sat there, staring. A lone tear trickled down his cheek. I reached out to squeeze his hand. He squeezed back and asked, "Are you okay?"

I didn't know how to answer. I didn't know how I felt. "I feel numb."

"Promise me something."

"What?"

"Just promise me that you'll be honest with me."

"I'm always honest with you."

"I know but… just promise me that you'll tell me when you're hurting."

"I will, but you have to promise me that you'll tell me when you're hurting."

"I will."

"And?"

"I'm hurting."

I squeezed his hand. "I know, and I'm here for you."

"But I am supposed to be the strong one."

"You don't have to be strong all the time."

"Meredith, you need me now more than ever. You need me to carry the weight right now, and I need to be strong."

"Derek, it's okay. It's okay to cry. It's okay to stop being strong for a minute and let yourself feel whatever you need to feel. I promise," I smiled, "besides I'm pretty sure I'm strong enough for myself."

"You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do, but that doesn't mean that you aren't allowed to feel, that you aren't allowed to have a bad day."

"I know."

I laughed. "Then stop acting like it does."

"I'll try," he leaned over and gave me a kiss before starting the engine.

"It's going to be okay, Derek."

"I know."

"It has to be."

A few hours had passed since we got home from the hospital. Derek was downstairs making tea as I lay in bed. Everything was still numb. I couldn't quite shake myself out of the daydream that I had fallen into ever since the Chief had told me that I had been pregnant before the accident. It just didn't seem real. I mean… I should have known that I was pregnant. I should have realized that I was late for my period.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek asked as he walked back into the room, carrying a tray that held the tea.

"Nothing."

"Meredith."

"We don't even know how far along I was."

"It couldn't have been that long."

"I know."

"A week or two maybe. If that."

"I know."

"Meredith, it isn't your fault."

"I'm trying to believe that. Really, I am."

Derek placed the tray on the nightstand and climbed into bed with me. He grabbed me, pulling me into his arms. "There was nothing that you could've done."

"If only…"

"No, Meredith. You cannot play that game. What's done is done. It was not your fault, and it was not my fault. Everything will be okay."

"What if I can never have a child, Derek? What then?"

"That's not going to happen."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

I laughed. "It's a possibility."

"It's going to be okay, Meredith. Soon you'll begin walking and then one day, we'll have our own little Meredith crawling around."

I don't know what it was. I don't know if it was the idea of having a child with Derek, the idea of being able to walk again, or the fear of never being able to have a child, but suddenly the numbness inside of me began to disappear and I began to feel the stinging pain of hurt and sadness.

"Meredith, let go."

Tears began to fall down my cheeks and I picked my head up to look into his eyes, and that was all I needed to fully let go.

**Don't forget to review! Thanks!**


	12. Chapter 12: Losing My Way

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing this story! Seriously, it is majorly appreciated it. Season three is just days away!

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

** XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 12: Losing My Way**

**A Week Later**

I couldn't fall asleep. I didn't want to fall asleep. For the past week I have been having this dream, and I didn't want to have it anymore. I didn't want to see myself walking. I didn't want to see myself holding a baby girl, waiting for Derek to get home from the hospital. I didn't want to wake up thinking that it was all real; that maybe I could actually walk… that maybe everything else was a nightmare. But, it never happened. Every morning I woke up the same as the previous morning, without a child and still unable to walk. The dream version of me had everything I wanted. She had it all. It was hard to see the sunshine and flowers in the real world, when you dream of yourself having everything you want. After the first night, I thought I would be okay. I didn't expect myself to feel this lost. I didn't expect myself to feel so alone even with Derek right beside me.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

"Meredith, you need to eat something," Derek pushed.

"I'm not hungry."

"I know you are grieving. I know you have a lot going on in your head right now, but you need to eat."

"If I eat, I will throw it up."

"Maybe we should take you back to the hospital."

"No!" I screamed, "I do not want to go back there."

"You're going to have to sooner or later."

"Not now," I whispered, "I can't handle it right now."

"Meredith, you promised you'd talk to me. You promised you'd be open with me. This past week you have shut down. You have nightmares at night. You aren't eating. You need to talk to me."

"I can't."

"Yes, you can."

"No, Derek. There are just some things that are better left alone."

"This is not one of them." His voice rose. He was starting to get mad, and I couldn't blame him. I promised him that I would tell him. We promised to be open with each other. But I just couldn't seem to find the words to explain what I felt, and it was just easier to push him away.

"I'm fine."

"Do not lie to me."

"Derek, there is nothing wrong."

"How in good conscience can you sit there and lie to my face?" He struggled to control his anger and his hurt. He got up from his chair and started to pace around the kitchen, and I wished that I could just walk out of the room. Instead, I was stuck in this chair, dependent on him.

"I'm not lying to you."

"You are an awful liar."

"What the hell do you want me to say, Derek?"

"Anything that is the truth."

"The truth?" I laughed, "You want to know the truth?"

"Yes."

"Fine. At night I dream about walking. I dream that I am holding our baby. I dream that you are my husband, and at the same time I am an independent person. I don't need to rely on you to push me around. I can do everything on my own."

A moment passed before he said anything. He looked at me, his expression never changing, and said, "Thank you."

My anger seeped into my words. "Why are you thanking me?"

"Meredith, all I ever want from you is honesty. I just need to know where you are, what you're feeling, and it's hard for me to because you are so God damn stubborn sometimes."

"I feel lost, Derek. I can't see myself anymore. It is like I am only a tiny portion of who I was before the accident."

"It takes time."

"Don't lecture me about time. I know all about time."

"You can't expect that you will be walking again within weeks of the accident, Meredith. You're a doctor, you know what your injuries were."

"I know."

"Your physical therapy will start next week, and soon you'll start to make better progress. But until then, you need to rest. You need to recuperate. You need to take care of your body, and not push too hard."

"You don't think I know that?"

"I do, but you need some prospective."

"I do not need prospective. I need my legs. I don't want to be dependent on you forever."

"Meredith, I know, but you need to listen to me. Take care of yourself now, and you'll only see the rewards later, when you are working your ass off in physical therapy."

I sighed. "I know. You're right."

"I'm always right."

"You wish."

Derek sat down in the chair next to me and grabbed my hand, "We're going to make it through this, and most importantly you are, and one day we'll have a baby girl that will be just as stubborn as you and I."

I laughed, know that our child would have double the stubbornness that Derek and I have combined. "It's hard to keep it in prospective."

"That's why I am here; that's why you need to talk to me. You need to tell me when you can't sleep, when you are having dreams like that. I want to help you."

"I know, but it is just easier to push you away then let you in."

He squeezed my hand, "Don't push me away."

"I'm trying not to."

"Let me grieve with you."

"I'm trying."

"Good. Now, eat something."

I laughed and picked up my spoon, "You're so pushy."

"Yes, but you love me."

I smiled. "I do."

**Please do not forget to review! Reviews help keep me writing! Also, I was thinking about writing another Grey's story, and I am open to suggestions. So, anyone who has suggestions on something you'd like to have me write ... send'em my way! Sorry this chapter was so short... the next one is going to be great - I promise. Thanks, and REVIEW!**


	13. Chapter 13: Gravity

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** Thank you to everyone who has been reviewing this story! Seriously, it is really appreciated it.

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks! And, a big THANK YOU to everyone who has been reviewing this one.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

**XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX**

**Chapter 13: Gravity**

**A Week Later**

The doors of Seattle Grace Hospital opened and closed as I sat in my wheelchair, staring at the inside of a place that was like a second home to me. Derek shifted uncomfortably behind me, and I knew he was wondering why I had told him to stop, why I didn't let him push me through those doors. The truth was… the truth was I didn't know why I wouldn't let me push me through those the doors. I had no answers for Derek, and so stayed there, staring at the doors, watching doctors, nurses, and families of patients wonder around inside. All going somewhere, all walking towards something or someone, and here I was, sitting here, barely moving at all.

"Meredith?" Derek placed his hand on my shoulder. I didn't know what to say to him, so I remained silent and I watched the people inside, moving so freely, not wondering what it would be like to not be able to walk because it isn't even a possibility in their minds.

"Mer, we're going to be late."

"I don't care." It was true. I didn't care, for the most part.

"Let's just go inside, and see how it goes."

"I can't."

"Can't what?"

"I don't want to go in there."  
"Why?"

"Because."

"That's not a reason."

"You sound like a mom."

"Well, it isn't a reason."

"Derek…"

"No, Meredith. We're going to do this and you're going to get better. Before you know it, you'll be back inside this hospital running around with George, Izzie and Cristina."

"I hope so."

"Know so."

I couldn't help but laugh at him. It was just so hard to muster up the courage, the faith, the believe that one day I would be walking again; that one day I would be running down the hospital halls once again. It just wasn't realistic.

"Meredith, lets just go inside. We'll take it one day at a time." He didn't wait for me to respond before moving my wheelchair forward.

As we passed through the doors of the hospital, all I could think about was how much I hated being in this chair. I hated to have everyone see me like this. I hated the looks that passed between some of the doctors and nurses, as if saying that I deserved to be in this chair. But most of all, I hated the looks of pity. I didn't want to be "poor Meredith" anymore. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to go back when everything wasn't so complicated, when everything was just all a game.

Derek walked me into the elevator and the silence overwhelmed us. Once again, we were alone in an elevator, except this time I couldn't kiss him. I couldn't stand there and push my body and lips against his.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Some of our elevator encounters."

"Ah, yes. I have fond memories of that day."

"I'm sure you do." I didn't know what else to say to him. I didn't know how to tell him how awkward it felt for me to be here, especially when this wasn't my first time back since the accident. It just felt different; like things had changed when they really hadn't… and I just felt like I didn't belong here anymore.

"It's going to be fine." Derek mumbled.

"I wish I could believe that."

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to a direct view of the Chief standing in front of the physical therapy room, waiting for us. Derek and I remained silent. We both knew that neither of us was in the mood for apologizes. We just weren't ready.

The Chief nodded his head at us. "Meredith. Derek."

"Chief." Derek said stiffly.

"I'm sure you know that physical therapy will start out slow, Meredith."

I nodded my head at him. I was still to angry to look at him. I was still too angry to speak to him.

"I think we know what to expect, Richard." Derek spoke up for me.

"Well, I… just wanted to make sure everything went okay." The Chief stood there awkwardly, unsure of whether to stay or go.

"Well, we should go in." Derek said, wheeling me forward.

"Let me know how it goes," the Chief said as he began to walk away.

"You can read it in her file."

When the Chief got on the elevator, Derek moved in front of me and grabbed my hands. "Ready to go?"

"I guess."

When we entered the room George, Izzie and Cristina were standing there.

"It's about time you get here," Cristina smirked.

"Shouldn't you be saving some lives?" I asked as Derek wheeled me closer to them, and then walked over to the counter to make sure the physical therapists knew I was here.

"Probably," Izzie smiled.

"Does Bailey know you're here?" It wasn't that I didn't want them here. It wasn't even that I didn't want to see them. I just needed time. Time to pick myself back up. Time to mend what's been broken physically and emotionally.

"Not exactly," George mumbled.

"Are you just trying to find ways to get yelled at even more?"

"She won't flip out that badly. Right?" Izzie questioned. She was always the people pleaser.

"In your dreams." Cristina mumbled.

A collective beeping of pagers went off, and they all looked down.

"It's Bailey," George said.

"We better go," Izzie groaned, "we'll see you at home."

As they left the room, Derek came back and told me that the physical therapists were ready to see me. If only I was ready to see them. He pushed me into the back room and lifted me up, placing me on the table where I could only assume that the therapists would begin by stretching my legs and moving them with their hands.

A young female doctor approached me and smiled, "Dr. Meredith Gray, I'm Dr. Jones, I'll be your physical therapist."

"Nice to meet you."

"Dr. Shepherd, I didn't know you'd be joining us." Dr. Jones smiled.

"If that's okay, I'd like to."

"As long as it is okay with Meredith."

"It's fine with me," I attempted to smile, but it was just so hard to find anything to smile about in this room, knowing that for the next few months I would be coming here daily to do therapy.

"Okay then," Dr. Jones said as she moved towards me, "So, we're going to start off by stretching and moving your legs."

"Okay."

"Have you been having any sensations?"

"Yes."

"Have you been able to move your toes or stand briefly?"

"I moved my toes in my sleep a couple of times and I have been able to stand, but for no longer than a few seconds."

"Okay well, how about we get started?"

"Okay."

As I lay back onto the table, Derek moved towards my head and grabbed my hand. Dr. Jones grabbed my right leg and began to stretch it. At first it was painful. The muscles just weren't used to that activity anymore. I tightened my hold on Derek's hand as she continued to stretch my right leg. I didn't expect it to hurt this badly. She moved onto my left leg, doing the same stretches, and I felt all the same pain. Everyone remained silent, and I was glad because I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"How did that feel?" Dr. Jones asked as she placed my left leg back onto the table.

"Sore."

"Did it hurt?"

"It was painful."

"Okay. Well, I'd like to see if you are able to move your toes or either of your legs."

"Okay."

"Are you ready to try?"

I looked at Derek and he smiled at me. He smiled that wonderful, McDreamy smile that always made me pool into a puddle on the floor. His eyes sparkled with faith in me, and I only wished I could have the same faith in myself. "I guess I am ready."

"Okay," Dr. Jones said as she stepped back from the table, "give it your best shot."

**Don't forget to review... it helps the chapters come faster! Thanks! **


	14. Chapter 14: Falling Down

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N: **So, I'd sincerely like to apologize for the lack of updates. Between school, work, and planning a wedding, things got a little out of control. Luckily, I think I've found the time again… so updates should be coming more regularly.

This is the sequel to "The World Spins Madly On," if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks!

Oh and **please review!! **On with the show….

Disclaimer: I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Chapter 14: Falling Down**

The silence engulfed me. All eyes were on me, eagerly awaiting any type of movement from my legs. Derek stood behind me, his hand gently brushing my lower back in a reassuring way. I stared at my legs, willing them to move, but not just any movement, I wanted my whole foot to move. I was tired of seeing just my toes move. I needed more. I needed more for my sanity, for my hope.

"Meredith?"

Derek's soft voice interrupted my thoughts. "Yeah?"

"Are you trying to move your legs?" His voice quivered with fear.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

He sighed. "Take your time."

"I know. I'm ready."

Derek moved his hand from the small of my back to my hands, squeezing hard. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, trying to relax.

Derek's grip on my hand tightened. "You're doing it."

I didn't want to respond to him. I didn't want to break the already good thing I had going with my leg.

"Meredith! Your foot, it's moving."

I tried to ignore him, I wanted more. I wanted my leg to move. I wanted to bend my knee.

"Stop, please, Meredith." Dr. Jones said as she placed her hand on my moving leg.

I opened my eyes. "Why did you stop me?"

"You don't want to strain yourself. It takes baby steps."

Derek leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. "You did good."

"I wanted to move my entire leg."

"I understand, Meredith," Dr. Jones smiled obnoxiously, "but this will take some time."

"I don't – "

" – What do you suggest then?" Derek interrupted me, stopping me before I could yell at Dr. Jones

"Well, I think Meredith could benefit from daily physical therapy at this point. I think we should start Meredith with stretching and bending of the legs and see how we progress from there."

"So, there is hope?" Derek asked the question for me because he knew I would never ask myself.

"Given what I've seen today, I think you have a great chance of walking again, Meredith. But, it will take time. This isn't something that is going to change over night."

"I'm well aware of that."

"Can you give us any type of time frame here?" Derek asked.

"We should know more within the next few weeks. Keep your head up, Meredith."

"Are we done here today?" Derek asked, sensing my growing need to leave.

"Well, I'd like to have one of our therapists stretch you out before you leave, Meredith. Do you have time?"

"I'm actually feeling pretty tired, could we just schedule an appointment for next week?" I just wanted to get out of here.

"That's fine. The scheduling desk is right near the exit. Please make sure to schedule a few physical therapy appointments before leaving. Thank you Dr. Shepherd and Dr. Grey. I look forward to seeing you again."

Dr. Jones walked away, leaving Derek and I alone. A few minutes passed before Derek decided to lift me into my wheelchair.

"Ready to go?" He whispered into my ear as he placed me into my chair.

"Please."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After leaving Seattle Grace, Derek and I returned to my house, which was becoming our typical routine. I was tired. Tired of the same old things. Tired of never leaving my house except to go back to Seattle Grace. I wanted to my old life back. Sometimes I found myself looking at Derek, wondering if he too was tired of the same old routine; wondering if he wanted out.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek asked as we watched some ridiculous daytime television.

"Nothing."

"Mer…"

"Are you happy?"

"Of course I'm happy. What kind of a question is that?"

"It's just… I can't imagine you being happy being inside, never doing anything you love. All because of me."

"I love being with you."

I smiled. He had walked this road with me before. He knew exactly what to say to calm me down, but I just could not believe that he was actually happy. "Maybe you should think about going back to work."

"Meredith, I don't need to be at work right now."

"Derek, I just can't believe that you're happy."

Derek grabbed my hands and kissed my forehead. "Don't worry about me. Worry about getting better, about trying your hardest to start walking again. That's all I'm worried about."

"You need to start living again, Derek."

"You make me feel alive."

"That is an awful line."

"It's the truth."

"You sound like you are from some cheesy romance movie."

"But it's true, Meredith. I just want to help you. You're all I need in life."

"I can't take it anymore. I feel like a child. I don't need you to baby me."

"I'm not babying you."

"You are whether you choose to believe it or not."

Derek sat there silently, and I could only hope that I had finally gotten through to him; that I had finally made him realize how unhappy he truly was.

"Meredith, I'm not going to do this with you," Derek sighed, "I'm not letting you push me away because you're feeling sorry for yourself. I will be here. Always."

"I'm not trying to push you away. I'm trying to make you realize what you're missing out on because of me."

"I'm not missing out on anything."

"You're missing out on your life."

"Stop it! Just stop." Derek yelled for the first time in weeks, and it finally felt normal again. "I can't listen to this anymore."

Derek got up off of the sofa and walked out of the room, leaving me sitting on the sofa. Alone. He did exactly what I wanted. I was finally alone, but I didn't feel any better. I wanted to chase after him. I wanted to fight. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to at least try to be normal, and so I decided it was time to try this on my own. I used my arms to push down on the sofa to swivel my body so that my feet were resting on the floor. I rocked back and forth, trying to gain enough momentum to stand up. With one final push, I was able to land on my feet. I stood still for a few minutes before I tried to take my first step. I dragged my right foot out in front of me, but before I could find stable ground, I found myself falling forward without anyone there to catch me.

As my head collided with coffee table the last words I heard came from Derek's mouth, "Meredith!"

**Please review! It helps more than you know. Thanks!**


	15. Chapter 15: Love Will Come Through

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** So,** thank you** to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. See, I told you I'd be back soon! That wasn't that long was it? I hope you like this chapter. I do. Oh, and I have another story now called **_Trapeze _(Chapter 5 is up)** you should go check it out if you haven't already. Enjoy! (It's almost Thursday!)

This is the sequel to _The World Spins Madly On,_ if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

Same rules apply here though. None of the episodes that aired after "As We Know It" apply here, and in these stories Dr. Bailey was never pregnant.

This is a Derek/Meredith fanfic, and while other characters will be involved, I've decided to just label it as that.

Also, just want to thank everyone who reviewed the first story. You guys are the reason why I am writing this one. So thanks!

**Oh and please review!!** On with the show….

**Disclaimer:** I do not any part of Grey's Anatomy... even though I really wish I did.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Chapter 15: Love Will Come Through**

Everything stopped. The noise of the TV in the background disappeared. Derek's voice disappeared. I was alone, sinking into an unknown abyss. I felt numb. Darkness was settling over me. It was like I was floating, drifting away from all the pain, from all the sadness. And I couldn't help but think that maybe this was for the best. Maybe I'd finally find the peace that I had been searching for since I was a teenager. I could only be so lucky.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Someone was calling my name. He was yelling over the loud sirens. It was Derek. He was yelling my name in between yelling at someone else. I didn't want to open my eyes. I wanted to go back to the darkness that I had just been getting used to. There was pain in this world. I tried to move my legs, but I was quickly reminded of my lack of ability to do so.

"Meredith?" Derek questioned after seeing my attempted movement.

I groaned and slightly opened my eyes, the brightness stinging my eyes. "Ouch."

Derek grabbed my hand. "What hurts?"

"What happened?"

Derek shook his head. "You fell."

"Oh, yeah."

"What did you think you were doing?" Derek's tone changed. He was mad, angry at me for what I had said and did, and I couldn't blame him.

"I wanted to fight."

"You shouldn't have tried to stand up."

"I don't want to talk about it right now."

"Fine."

"Where are we?" I tried to look around but felt the resistance of a neck immobilizer that was holding me in place.

"I had to call an ambulance."

"Why?"

"You weren't responsive."

"I hit my head."

"Yes," Derek was not amused. "We need to get you checked out."

"I'm fine, Derek."

"No, you're not. It took you too long to become responsive again. We are going in."

I groaned. I didn't want people staring at me again. I didn't want the looks of pity. "Can't we go to another hospital?"

"No."

"Derek – "

" – Meredith, we are going to Seattle Grace. The Chief is going to check you out, and then we will see what is going to happen." Derek interrupted. He was definitely not happy with me.

I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to tell him that he had no right to be mad at me, but the pounding in my head took over. I groaned and raised my hand to my head.

"What hurts?" Derek asked, looking concerned.

"My head is pounding."

"You hit the coffee table pretty hard."

"I didn't mean to."

Derek squeezed my hand. "I know."

I could hear my heart beat in the background. It was steady. Derek looked more anxious than anything. I didn't want to be back at Seattle Grace for the second time today. "I'm okay, Derek."

"We need to make sure."

"I probably just have a concussion."

"Meredith. We are going to the hospital. We are going to get you checked out. Until then, I do not want anymore arguments."

"I just don't want to see their looks of pity, Derek. The 'poor Meredith' faces."

"I know, Mer. But, you fell. We need to make sure."

He was right. I knew he was right. The doctor side of me knew that he was right, even though it felt like that part of me was disappearing. "I know."

"Good," Derek said as he squeezed my hand, "How are you feeling?"

"Okay. It just feels like I have a really bad hangover."

Derek laughed. "You should be used to that then."

"I'd hit you right now if I could. I hope you know that."

The ambulance began to slow and I knew that we had arrived at Seattle Grace. The paramedics opened the door and Derek jumped out. Ready to grab the gurney that I was on so he could walk with me into the ER. When I was finally pulled out of the ambulance I was immediately greeted with Derek and the Chief's faces.

"What happened?" The Chief asked Derek.

"She tried to walk," Derek shook his head, "but she fell and hit her head on the coffee table. She was unresponsive until we got into the ambulance."

The Chief returned his gaze to me. "Why on earth did you try to walk?"

"It's a long story." I mumbled.

"How are you feeling now, Meredith?" The Chief asked as he pushed the gurney into an OR room.

"My head is pounding."

The Chief looked at Derek. "Did you notice anything?"

"She seems fine. It's possible she just has a concussion. I just wanted to be on the safer side… considering… "

"I understand."

I heard the door open and it wasn't long before I knew who had just entered the room.

"What the hell happened?" Cristina asked.

"Dr. Yang," the Chief looked at her, "we need to get a CT scan on Meredith. She fell and hit her head."

"How did you fall, Mer?"

"Long story."

"Derek, why don't you go wait in my office. I'll page you when I know the results." The Chief said as he grabbed Derek by the arm to lead him out of the room.

"Wait," Derek stopped, "can I have a minute alone with Meredith?"

"A minute," the Chief said before stepping out of the room.

Cristina patted me on the shoulder. "Good luck."

When they had both left the room, Derek approached the gurney and grabbed my hand. "What were you thinking?"

"I just… I wanted everything to be normal again."

"It's going to take some time."

"I'm tired of waiting."

"I know, Mer," Derek squeezed my hand. "Promise me you will never do something like that again."

I looked at him and saw his despair. I squeezed his hand in response to his firm hold on my hand. "I promise."

"I'm sorry if I upset you."

"No, I'm the one that should be apologizing," I sighed, "I was trying to push you away."

"I know."

I smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mer," Derek said as he moved down to graze his lips with mine, "I'll see you in a little bit."

I nodded my head as best as I could considering I still had the neck immobilizer on. Derek kissed my forehead and then walked out of the room. I knew then that it was time for me to stop pushing him away; that maybe it was time to start letting him in.

"Ready to go?" Cristina asked as she made her way next to the gurney. "Oh, and just what the hell were you thinking?"

I looked up at Cristina and smiled. "Oh, you know. Just being Meredith."

**So… I hope you liked this chapter. I also have another story now called _Trapeze_, if you want to go check it out!**

**Otherwise, please REVIEW! And thanks for reading!**


	16. Chapter 16: Lately

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N**: So, **thank you** to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. **Especially to those who are constant supporters and reviewers. It means a lot to me, and I just want you to know how much I appreciate your reviews.**

I hope you like this chapter. I do. It's more light and fluffy than ones in the past.

Oh, and I have another story now called **_Trapeze_** (Chapter 8 is up) you should go check it out if you haven't already. Enjoy! (It's Thursday!!!)

This is the sequel to _The World Spins Madly On_, if you haven't read that... I would have to say it might be beneficial for you to read that before reading this story.

**Oh and please review!!**

**Disclaimer:** I do not any part of _Grey's Anatomy_... even though I really wish I did.

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**Chapter 16: Lately**

It had been two weeks since I had fallen and hit my head. Two weeks of physical therapy, of trying to increase my movement in my legs. Two weeks since I had put the old Meredith behind me, and moved forward, embracing this new aspect of my life. Today was going to be the first big test. Today, Derek was going back to work for the first time since the accident. It had taken a lot of convincing, but I had finally won.

"Are you sure you're okay with me going to work?" Derek asked as he grabbed his shirt.

"I promise," I smiled, "I'll be okay."

"Cause if you want me to stay – "

" – Derek, go. It's okay."

"It's just," Derek walked towards me and placed his hand on my face, "if something happens, I won't be here."

I turned my face into his hand, savoring his touch. "I'll be okay."

He smiled at me and brushed my bangs out of my eyes. I didn't really want him to go, but it was important. It was important for him to feel like he could still go to work and I'd be okay. It was important for him to know that life does go on, that his life could go on.

"You'll call if you need me?"

"Derek," I sighed, "you have to get over this. I'll be fine on my own."

"But, you'll call me if you need me?"

I nodded my head. I said things that I knew he needed to hear. I said things that I needed to hear. It was all part of the game. The game of making yourself believe that one day everything would be fine. "You're going to be late."

"I know, I'm going."

"Go, Derek. I'll be fine," I smiled, "you can't watch me every minute of every day."

Derek bent down and gave me a quick kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Derek hesitated and then made his way towards the door. "You'll - "

" – I'll call you," I laughed, "I promise."

Derek smiled and then walked out the door, leaving me alone for the first time since the accident. It felt good.

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The house was silent. Izzie, George and Derek were all at work. It was strange not being with them. Strange not feeling tired, but it was even more strange that it felt good to not be there. It felt good to be resting in my bed, reading the most recent Harry Potter book. It felt good to just exist.

I heard the familiar noise of my cell phone. I knew who it was without even looking. Frankly, I was surprised he had made it three hours without calling. "Hi there."

"Hi." Derek's voice sounded tired, like he wasn't used to the routine anymore, which wasn't surprised. Not being at the hospital, not having that routine for a few weeks could do that to you.

"It's only been three hours."

"I thought I was doing well."

"You lasted longer than I thought you would," I laughed.

"Well, that's not to say that I didn't try to call but immediately hang up so it wouldn't ring."

"You sound like a stalker."

Derek chuckled. "What are you doing?"

It felt good to hear him laugh. We didn't do that as much anymore. Everything had become so serious. "Reading."

"You're not reading what I think you're reading, are you?"

"Yes, I am. People of all ages can enjoy these books."

"I just didn't picture you as the type of person to go for those books."

"I liked Lord of the Rings."

"That's different," Derek scoffed.

"How's that different? It's still the same sci-fi thing."

"It's not."

"Yes, it is."

"They were written for two very different audiences."

"You're wrong."

"I'm never wrong."

I laughed. "You're wrong a lot of the time."

"Bullshit."

"Don't you have patients to see?"

"I just wanted to see how you were doing."

"I'm fine. I promise." I had to admit, it was kind of nice to have someone that cared about me this much. Someone that cared enough to call. I don't think my mother would have called. She probably would have just hired a nanny and ran off to the hospital.

"Just," Derek hesitated, "checking in."

"I know, and I love you for it."

"I love you too," Derek whispered.

"Go back to work."

"I'll be home soon."

"Your shift doesn't end for another seven hours."

"The Chief has me working on shorter shifts."

"Are you talking to him?"

"No."

"Derek – "

" – We'll talk about it later," Derek interrupted, "I've gotta go."

"Okay."

"Okay, I love you."

"Love you too."

When we hung up the phone, I tried to get back into the book, but all I could think about was the baby that I had lost. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I fought them back. I didn't want to cry. I was having too good of a day to start crying. I needed something else to do, so I decided that maybe it was time to do my first round of physical therapy for the day. I had to do my exercises once in the morning and once in the evening. The exercises weren't complex, but it did take some time.

I pushed myself up so my back was resting against the headboard and started to concentrate. So far, I had been able to move my toes and my feet. My therapist always told me to start light. So, I started with my routine exercises. Wiggling my toes, pointing my feet. Trying to move my feet in circles. Some days were easier than others.

At the end of each therapy session, I was allowed to try to bend my knees. I looked down at my legs. They had gotten even skinnier than they already were. All the muscle had disappeared. I tried to think about anything other than moving my legs. I tried to think about Derek and his lips. The way my skin burned when he touched me, anything to keep my mind off of what I was trying to do. And then, I felt something that I hadn't felt in a long time.

I felt my right knee start to bend.

**So, can I just tell you how excited I am that it is almost time for some _Grey's_! So excited.  
**

**Well, I hope you liked this chapter. I wanted to do a chapter that was a little more light and fluffy… so I hope you enjoyed it! **

**Also, check out my NEW story _The Great Escape_. I'm still writing _Trapeze_ as well. So, I'll be updating that soon too!**

**Please _REVIEW! _ And _Thank You!_ **


	17. Chapter 17: Feeling Good

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** So,** thank you** to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. You guys really are great. I really appreciate it. It helps when I'm struggling to update.

Oh, and if you haven't already… go check out my other stories: _Trapeze _and _The Great Escape_.

This is the sequel to _The World Spins Madly On. _Meredith and Derek have finally gotten back together. Will everything be okay or will something tragic come in their way of having their happily ever after?

**Disclaimer:** I do not any part of _Grey's Anatomy_... unfortunately.

**READ. REVIEW. And thanks for reading!**

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**Chapter 17: Feeling Good**

_" Its a new dawn, its a new day,_

_It's a new life for me_

_And I'm feelin' good."_

- Nina Simone

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Life is about triumphs; the little things that keep you going. The little things that make you believe that all is not lost. And sometimes, those triumphs come just in time. They come just before you make a mistake, or they come before you begin to say to yourself, "what's the point." The triumphs in life are what make us keep going; they make us believe that one day everything will make sense, that nothing happens without a reason. And that sometimes, by believing that good things will happen, can make your luck.

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My knee bent. It bent. It hurt like hell, but it bent. I needed to tell someone, but no one was home. One of the biggest moments of my life, and no one was here. Not even Derek, the man who hadn't left my side since the accident. I picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

"Are you okay?" Derek's voice was frantic and laced with concern.

"I'm fine," I laughed, "you'll never believe what happened."

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Seriously, I'm fine, but I have something to tell you."

"What's that?"

"I bent my leg," I said, my voice full of excitement.

"You what?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"I was doing my home exercises for physical therapy, and you know, I'm allowed to try for a few minutes every day to try to bend my legs," I swallowed, "well, my leg bent."

"Your leg bent?"

"Yes." I tried to control the volume of my voice. I have a tendency to yell into cell phones, especially when I'm excited.

"How? I mean," Derek hesitated, "just, wow."

I smiled into the phone. "Isn't it amazing? It's a good sign, right?"

"It is. I just," Derek sighed into the phone, "I just wish I was there with you. Meredith, I'm so happy for you."

"I'll show you when you get home."

"Are you still able to bend your legs?"

"I just did, again. Derek, I just can't believe this."

"Believe it, Mer. You'll be back harassing me on the surgical floor in no time."

"I hope so."

"You will be," Derek affirmed, "I have to go, but I'll be home in a few hours, okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

"I love you," Derek whispered into the phone.

"Love you too. Bye."

"I'll see you soon."

I closed my phone and looked around the room. It was weird being happy. It was weird to have everything I need. It was weird to feel normal again. I sighed and went back to reading my book, waiting for Derek to walk through those front doors.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The front doors banged, awakening me from my sleep. I wiped my hand across my face, trying to get rid of the drool. I looked at the clock and saw that three hours had passed since I had last talked to Derek. Falling asleep is one way to make time move faster.

"Meredith," George said as he opened my bedroom door, "I heard the good news."

"I can't believe it," I smiled, "I was preparing myself for the worst."

"Now, you don't have to."

I pushed myself up into a sitting position and patted the bed so George would join me. "Where's Izzie?"

George walked over towards my bed and sat down. "She got a chance to scrub in on a surgery."

"Oh," I nodded, trying to ignore my feelings of jealously. "And Cristina?"

"She's coming," George hesitated, "she just got held up."

"George, what aren't you telling me?"

George shifted nervously next to me. "Nothing."

"Come on, you don't expect me to believe that."

"She's plotting… with McDreamy."

"Plotting what?"

"I don't know."

"Don't lie to me, George."

"I'm not," George swallowed, "I honestly don't know."

I looked at George in disbelief. He was covering something up. Something was going on. "Is Derek in trouble?"

George shook his head. "No."

"Then, what's going on?"

"Seriously, Mer, I don't know."

My happiness left me in that moment, and I forgot all about my triumphs about the day. What on earth would Derek and Cristina be plotting together about?

"Let me see you move your leg," George said, interrupting my thoughts.

"You seriously don't know what's going on?"

"Promise," George nodded, "now, show me."

I wanted Derek to be the first one to see me move my leg, but he was off with Cristina. Bitterness crept into me. I had a big day today, and instead of Derek coming home to celebrate with me, he was out with Cristina. What the hell was that all about?

"Mer, show me."

I looked at George and nodded my head. It was a weird sensation, to feel your leg moving again after not being able to move it for a month. It hurt, but it felt so good.

Both legs bent and George grabbed my hand. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks, George." I sighed as a let my legs straighten out.

"Have you tried walking?"

"No, I didn't want to risk it. Not after last time."

George nodded, understanding. He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss on the check. "Seriously, Mer. I'm so happy for you."

I opened my mouth to respond, but was interrupted by the front door slamming. George stood up abruptly and walked towards the door. "I'll be right back."

"George," I yelled, "what the hell is going on?"

"I'll be right back," George smiled, "don't go anywhere."

Now, I was angry. "I couldn't even if I wanted to."

George left the room and pounded down the stairs. I could hear him talking to Cristina downstairs. They were bickering, as usual. And then, I heard his voice mixed in with theirs. Derek was home, and he wasn't coming up the stairs. Now, I was pissed.

"What the hell is going on?" I screamed, "This isn't exactly the nicest thing to do guys."

Silence befell the group. I couldn't hear anything anymore, not even the creek in the wood floors as people stepped on it. Nothing. And then I heard it. Someone was walking up the stairs, slowly and deliberately, as if they were trying to not make any noise.

I remained still and closed my eyes. My good day had suddenly vanished with all the weirdness that had surrounded my friends and Derek. I heard the door push open and listened to the footsteps that were approaching the bed. I knew by the sound of the walk that it was Derek. He sat gently on the bed and grabbed my hands.

"Meredith, open your eyes."

"No."

"So, you're going to be stubborn?"

"Yes," I huffed, "you guys were conspiring against me."

"I had a good reason."

"Whatever."

"Come on, Mer," he sighed, "open your eyes."

I opened my eyes and was instantly greeted by his smiling face. "What do you want?"

He leaned in and gave me a quick kiss on the lips. "We need to talk."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It means I need to talk to you."

Tears welled up in my eyes. I couldn't lose him. Not now. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No," Derek shook his head, still smiling, "everything's fine, more than fine. Perfect."

"Then, what is it?"

Derek moved off of the bed and kneeled before me. He smiled and grabbed my hands. "Marry me."

**Were you expecting that to happen? Why do you think Derek chose now? **

**Well, I hope you enjoyed it. **

**REVIEW. And thanks for reading!**


	18. Chapter 18: Steady As We Go

_**Come Away With Me**_

**A.N:** So **THANK YOU**, for all the reviews for the previous chapter… and a **special thank you** (again) to all of you who constantly review, it does mean a lot.

I'm also writing **_Trapeze_** and **_The Great Escape_**, so check those out!

**Disclaimer:** I do not any part of _Grey's Anatomy... _

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**Chapter 18: Steady As We Go**

_"Well troubles, they may come and go_

_But good times be the gold_

_So if the road gets rocky, girl_

_Just steady as we go."_

- Dave Matthews Band

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Life is about moments. For most girls, it's about the moment when the love of your life asks you to marry him. It is the moment that most girls spend countless hours of their lives thinking about. They ignore the bad and wait for the good, but what if it is the bad that helps us get to the good? What if those bad moments only help us in our good moments? What if those bad moments make life more worthwhile? What if those bad moments make one good moment worth everything?

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Questions flooded my brain as I looked down at Derek, and attempted to digest what he had just said. The McDreamy smile was on his face, waiting for me to answer, but I couldn't seem to find the words. All I could find were questions. "Why?"

"I'm sorry?"

"Why?"

"Why do I want you to marry me?"

"Yes," I sighed, heavily, "no, I mean, why now?"

The smile of Derek's face dropped slightly, and he stood up from where he was kneeling. He sat on the bed so that he was facing me still and grabbed my hands again. "I love you, Meredith. I've wanted to marry you for a long time now. It just seems right to do it now."

"Now that I might be able to walk again?"

"Meredith," Derek sighed, "you know that has nothing to do with this."

"No, I don't know that. How am I not supposed to think that, Derek? Especially, after today."

Derek dropped his head and took a deep breath. "This isn't about today. It isn't about what has happened in the past. This is about you and me."

"Why now?" I can't seem to say anything else right now. Those are the only words that make any sense to me.

Derek stood up abruptly and began to pace the room. "I was going to ask you."

"When?"

Derek stopped moving and looked at me. His eyes were filled with unshed tears. "The night of the crash."

I opened my mouth to respond, but quickly closed it. No words could take away the pain of that night, the guilt that Derek still carried over the crash. It was what it was, the only thing left for us to do was to heal and move on.

Derek sat back down on the bed and brought his hand to my face. "This isn't about what was going to happen that night. This is about now."

I leaned my face into his touch, enjoying the feeling of his hand. "I'm sorry."

"I understand," Derek smiled, "I understand why you'd be afraid; why you'd be concerned. I'm not mad."

"Okay."

Derek dropped his hand from my face and reached into his pants pocket. He pulled out a black velvet box, and opened it for me to see. He looked up at me and smiled, "Marry me, Meredith Grey."

All the questions and doubt had left my mind. "Yes. A thousand times, yes."

The round, solitary diamond sparkled brightly on the platinum band as Derek pulled it out of the velvet box and slipped it onto my ring finger. He moved closer to me and leaned in to give me a loving kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too," I mumbled against his mouth. I moved my arms up to his neck, deepening our kiss.

"You're killing me," Derek groaned.

"Maybe," I smiled mischievously, "it's time."

Derek pulled his lips away from mine, "Are you sure you're ready?"

I nodded and pulled Derek closer, loving the feeling of his body pressed against mine. He shifted his body on top of me and I sighed. Today had been the perfect day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pounding on my bedroom door awakened me, and I opened my eyes to look at the clock. The bright red numbers shined 4:16am back at me and I groaned. "What?"

"Can I come in?" Izzie shouted from the other side of the door.

Derek moved beside me and pulled me closer to him. "Who the hell is that?"

"Izzie," I whispered, "she wants to come in."

"Leave us alone," Derek yelled, "we're sleeping."

"You promised you'd let us know, and well," Izzie laughed, "it's been a few hours since you went up there to ask her that question."

"She said yes," Derek sighed, "go away."

"You shouldn't have said that," I smiled, pulling the sheet over my naked body in anticipation of Izzie's reaction.

Izzie pushed the door open, letting it slam against the bedroom wall. "Seriously?"

I groaned, "Seriously, Iz. We're trying to sleep here."

"I'm just," Izzie walked closer to me, "I'm so happy for you guys. I mean, you guys have been through a lot in the past month, and it's just so awesome that you worked it out together – "

" – Izzie, it is four in the morning," I smirked, "you may have to go to the hospital, but I do not. Can we talk about this later?"

"Yes, I mean, I'm sorry. I know you guys are sleeping, but it's just so great." Izzie walked back towards the door, "we're all so happy for you, Mer."

"Thanks, Iz," I smiled, "we'll celebrate later."

Izzie nodded and closed the door, leaving Derek and I alone. I rolled over to face Derek and smiled. "What time do you have to go in today?"

Derek grabbed my hips and brought me closer to his body. "Later in the morning."

"Good, we can go back to sleep."

"I wasn't thinking about sleeping."

I bit back a smile. "What were you thinking about, Dr. Shepherd?"

"Well, if you must know, I was thinking about a way to seduce my future wife."

Giggles fell out of my mouth. It felt good to be happy, to feel like no matter what happens, I'd be okay. "I don't think it's that hard."

"I know from experience that it's not that hard."

"I can play hard to get."

"Not with me," Derek smirked as he moved in to kiss me, "you have no control."

"That may be true," I laughed, "you don't have much control either, buddy."

"I have more control than you," Derek whispered as he let his hand move up the side of my body.

"You wish."

Derek tugged my body closer to his again and grinded his hips into mine. "You can't deny me."

"You're right," I laughed and leaned forward to kiss him. His body wrapped around mine and it felt right. It felt like home.

**So, I'm not sure I like this chapter too much… but I can't keep reading it over and over again, I have other work to do (ha). **

**Also, one reviewer pointed out awhile ago that Meredith would still be able to have sex, even though she might not be able to feel it, so I decided that it was time for Meredith and Derek to jump back into bed together. **

**_Well_, I'm pretty much thinking that this is going to be the last chapter, but I'd like to know what you all think. **

**I guess I'm asking if you'd like there to be a sequel to this story to see where Meredith and Derek go in the future and how Meredith is doing, etc. It's up to you guys. I love this story, but I am perfectly happy with just having an epilogue. **

**Let me know your thoughts!**

**Please _REVIEW_! And thank you. **


	19. Epilogue

_**Come Away With Me**_

**AN: **This is going to be the final chapter of this story. I'm sad to see this story end, but it's time, we are at the end of my outline for this story, and so the end has come. So, thanks to all of you who've stuck with it.

**Thank you** to everyone who reviewed and told me your thoughts on what to do. I do appreciate it. (**BIG THANKS, **again, to all of those who always review!)

Anyway, don't forget to check out _**The Great Escape **(recently updated with Chapter 5)_and **_Trapeze. _**

**Disclaimer: **Unfortunately, I do not own _Grey's Anatomy… _

_**REVIEW!**_

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**Epilogue**

"_From the very first moment I saw you,_

_That's when I knew,_

_All the dreams I held in my heart_

_Had suddenly come true."_

- David Gray

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**6 Months Later**

You picture this moment all of your life. You picture the doors opening and the look of your future husband's face as your walk down the isle towards him. You picture your father walking next to you, guiding through one last step of your single life, and you picture your family standing by your side, happy that you are so in love. Today is my wedding day. Today, I have my family, Cristina, Izzie, George, and Alex, standing by my side, supporting me like they always have.

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"Meredith, what the hell are you doing in there?" Cristina yelled through the bathroom door.

"Nothing," I sighed, needing a minute alone. Everyone was everywhere all the time, making sure that I was feeling well enough to make it through the day.

Cristina opened the bathroom door and looked at me, frowning. "We need to get going, Mer. Why are you sitting on the toilet?"

"No reason."

Cristina shut the bathroom door behind her and walked towards me. "What's wrong?"

"I can't believe that I'm getting married today."

"I can't believe it's been a year," Cristina smirked. "Finally, Izzie will shut up."

I laughed. Izzie had been going crazy planning the wedding. After Derek proposed, I immediately turned over the wedding plans to Izzie, knowing full well that she'd do a better job at it then I ever would. The only thing I took part in was picking out my dress. "I'm scared."

"It's McDreamy. What's there to be scared of?"

"What if I fall? What if I get too tired and can't make it down the isle?"

"Mer, you're going to be fine. We've practiced. You're ready." Cristina said reassuringly.

"I know I've practiced. I know that. It's just…" I hesitated and leaned back against the toilet. "This is the first time everyone will see me walking. This is it, Cristina."

"Derek's seen you walk. I've seen you walk. George, Izzie, and Alex have all seen you walk."

"I know, but no one else from the hospital has."

"Meredith, there isn't anything to worry about."

"But this is the first time I'll be standing for a long time."

Cristina sighed. "You've been doing your physical therapy. Your physical therapist cleared you for today. You're going to be fine."

I nodded. I just wanted everything to be perfect. For once in my life, I wanted things to go right. "I just want to show everyone that I'm back, that I'm ready to go back to work."

"We know," Cristina patted my shoulder, "Lets go. You have to get dressed. Izzie is going to have a panic attack if we aren't on time."

"You're right," I laughed.

"I'm always right," Cristina smirked.

I stood from the toilet and walked past Cristina to open the door. "Lets get this show on the road."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Izzie and Cristina had already walked down the isle, I was the only one left. George stood quietly next to me, waiting for me to take the first steps forward. Before the accident, I would have asked Chief Webber to walk me down the isle, but things change. I still hadn't spoken to him about anything other than when I was returning to work and how I was feeling.

"Mer, are you ready?" George asked, stepping forward towards me.

I smoothed my hands down my wedding dress, admiring the feel of the silk fabric. "I think so."

George extended his arm. "Lets get you married."

I looped my arm through his and we made our way towards the door. Before the doors opened, I turned to George and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for doing this, George."

"Anything for you, Mer," George smiled.

The doors opened, and the sound of trumpets from the Trumpet Voluntary filled the room. Derek stood at the end of the isle, staring at me, tears glistening in his eyes. He gave me that wonderful McDreamy smile, and I couldn't help but smile in return as we walked our way down the isle. People's faces in the pews were a blur because the only face that mattered was Derek's.

When we reached the end of the isle, George gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before handing me over to Derek, who led me the rest of the way up to the altar. I found myself lost in Derek's eyes, only half-listening to what the minister was saying.

"Meredith and Derek have written their own vows," the minister said, "which they will share with you now."

I handed my bouquet over to Cristina and turned back to Derek. Derek grabbed my hands and smiled. "Meredith, there isn't a day that passes that I don't feel lucky to have you in my life. You have shown me what it is to live. You have shown me what the meaning of love truly is. When I came to Seattle, I was looking for a fresh start, and I found that with you. You helped me find who I wanted to be and you helped me be that person. You make me want to be a better man," Derek paused, tears glistening in his eyes, "I love you with all of my heart, and I promise to be faithful to you. I promise to always be there for you in sickness and in health. I promise to never go to sleep mad. I will love you forever, no matter what the future holds for us, I will be by your side. This is my solemn vow."

I took a deep breath and squeezed Derek's hands. "Derek, since the day that I met you I knew that you were the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. You gave me faith when I thought I had nothing left. You made me believe in myself again. You put my demons to rest. Throughout the past year, you have been a source of unconditional love, always there for me, always pushing me through when I thought I could not go on. You are the love of my life. I love you with all of my heart. So, I promise to always be there for you. To push you when you need it, to comfort you when you need it, and to offer my unconditional support. I promise to never go to sleep mad and I promise to always be faithful to you. I will love you forever, no matter what the future holds for us, I will be by your side. This is my solemn vow."

The minister turned to look at Burke, "The rings, please."

Burke handed the wedding rings over to the minister. "Derek, take this ring."

Derek took the ring and held my left hand.

"Repeat after me," the minister directed. "With this ring, I thee wed."

Derek slipped the ring onto my finger, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Meredith," the Minister said, "take this ring and repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed."

I slid Derek's ring on his left ring finger and said, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Now that you have said proclaimed your love before the people you love," the minister declared, "I know pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

Derek moved his hands up to my upper arms and pulled me into him. The kiss was sweet and tender. My body softened at his touch. I didn't want him to stop, but he pulled away.

"Thank God," Cristina whispered, "we are in a church."

I laughed. Derek smiled and learned forward to kiss me again before we turned to face all of our witnesses in the pews. My legs still felt strong as we took our first steps off of the altar together. I smiled. We were finally married. Finally, something had gone right in my life. Finally, life was starting to make sense.

**And so ends this story. Love it, hate it, I'd love to know what you thought about the ending and the story in general. **

**Be on the look out for my new story… coming soon. **

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